24

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“I am awfully greedy; I want everything from life. I want to be a woman and to be a man, to have many friends and to have loneliness, to work much and write good books, to travel and enjoy myself, to be selfish and to be unselfish… You see, it is difficult to get all which I want. And then when I do not succeed I get mad with anger.”

“The average 24 year old.” Search. “Life of the average 24 year old”. Search.

Google can’t tell me what the average 24 year old does or has or earns. Are they 1 or 2 years into their fist job? Are they interning or still in varsity, are they married, in a committed relationship or single?

I’m turning 24 years old in a couple of days.There’s alot I am proud of. Like quitting varsity where i waz unhappy to go to a technicon then working in “record time”- sort of, learning to love and be loved (hardest lesson of my life so far) and working so damn hard to get a good job; getting an internship for that good job. So after a big work project that kept me up for weeks, I decided I was doing great and looking back  I’ve achieved my goals for this point and have been more daring than I thought I was capable of being. I bought cake, some bubbly and celebrated my awesomeness!

Today, though… today im wondering what I will have to show for it when 24 catches up with me. I have a long way to go, to keep proving myself at work, to go for interviews, to  turn this internship into a solid job in this dog eats dog industry and being “only as good as your last fuck up”. I have to stick it through in my relationship after learning it’s not smooth now that I’ve “found the one”-its actually hard work! Its learning how to balance out the ratio so that you are both happy and both your needs are met. Communicating those needs when you don’t always know what you need from your partner when you’re facing a novel challenge in your life and watering my relationship so that it spawns into marriage(some day in the distant future). And the all important keeping in touch with friends and family- calling and visiting and making sure I dont get lost in this rat race through the maze of figuring myself out, so far im not passing at this area of life. There’s a lot to be done…

24 IS COMING!

“If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you’ll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren’t so lazy.”