To my ex boyfriend

If I stay with you, none of my dreams  will come true. I dream of travel and I dream of lending  my hands to disaster relief, to activisim,  to loveing someone to ultimately love the world better. I see the distruction and the peoples  obsession  with money and being better than another. You dream of suits and cars. And a house wife.

I dream of freedom and faithfulness. So I will cry for a couple  of months and I will  hide from the world for a while. I will feel stupid  for not seeing it coming  and wonder why giving  you my all wasn’t good enough. I will regret not telling  you off and go over every word I should  have said when u told me to find someone else.

I always tell my friends, he may not tell you, but he will show you how he feels about you. When he stops posting pictures  of you, and you start wondering if he still  finds you attractive  cause you can’t remember  the last time he said your beautiful. You might not have noticed  but he’s stopped saying  he loves you. I missed all the signs but I wouldn’t have thought  them signs until you said I must have known love is gone.

Everyone goes through heartbreak, this is my turn in the ups and downs of life. “What about all the times you insisted you wanted to marry me, when  marriage was not something I thought of but you made me consider it? What about the kids names you picked?”
-“That was a long time ago. It doesn’t  count”

“So you wasted my time?”
-“it was only two years”

Better now than when I’m older and fat with your kids, too old and afraid  to follow my dreams.

You can watch me cry and break for now. Soon you will watch me win and  live my dreams – dreams  you never knew I had.


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